


This Memory of Us and Her

by Jiaxing



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, F/M, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-15 14:33:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8060047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jiaxing/pseuds/Jiaxing
Summary: Lucia and I had been together since we shared our mother's womb. She was my trusted companion and we were each other's shadow. We always confided to each other, and understood each other even when words were unable to convey the best our feelings.  Lucia was my twin sister, my soul mate."Lucian, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Luca," she said one day, when she approached me, lacing hands with a tall boy with opal eyes as dark as the night-sky and wavy unkempt jet-black hair that screened those piercing eyes. He was like the living and breathing statue of David, with skin as pale as the gypsum itself, yet the lips that cracked the thin smile was as red as the cherry blossom in the spring.Just like that, since that day, Luca became one part of our life, standing between me and my beloved sister... until she was no more.





	1. Us and Her

**Author's Note:**

> I also published this story on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/84855081-this-memory-of-us-and-her
> 
> This is my second original works both here and on Wattpad. I took the characters visual from one of my fave OTPs from French movie: Les Chanson d'Amours (2007) ^^ I hope you enjoy reading it.

**_Prologue_ ** **_: Us_ **

_The music was blaring_ _, engulfing half of my senses and consciousness as the alcohol done the rest. I could hear myself was laughing so hard and how I never took any notice how hard walking could be when you were completely wasted before this. I clung on whomever I was leaning to at the moment. Judging from the hard muscle and the abs, this kind hearted person was a man. Probably my besties, Erik._

_“You’re drunk.”_ Nope _, not Erik. That speech was too gentle for my best friend, and the voice was husky. Definitely not Erik._

_“Uh-huh,” I leaned closer to him as my vision was getting blurry. I tried to make out his face and I thought I saw a night sky in his eyes, glimmering so beautifully, drawn me into it. I smirked. “You’re beautiful,” I purred, as my conscience left me._

_And him, he might not be as sober as he thought, since he crashed his thin lips on mine. Oh dear, he might mistaken me for a girl. His curly black lock tickled my cheeks, as his tender lips started to devour my chapped lips, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. Surprisingly. Who thought a boy’s lips could be this soft and gentle on my own? I smiled in-between the kiss and leaned deeper to him. I’d be telling Erik to never again providing me with too much of alcohols in the party. I’d be doing crazy things once I drunk._

**

**Her**

Lucia and I had been together since we shared our mother’s womb. She was my trusted companion and we were each other’s shadow. We always confided to each other, and understood each other even when words were unable to convey the best our feelings. One glance, and we knew what was in the other’s mind. Lucia was my twin sister, my soul mate.

“Lucian, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Luca,” she said one day, when she approached me, lacing hands with a tall boy with opal eyes as dark as the night-sky and wavy unkempt jet-black hair that screened those piercing eyes. He was like the living and breathing statue of David, with skin as pale as the gypsum itself, yet the lips that cracked the thin smile was as red as the cherry blossom in the spring.  

I remembered I was stunned for a split second, for I didn’t realize that _my_ Lucy was in a relationship! She never told me! And that boy, he was somewhat look familiar, but I failed to fish out any memory where did I ever see him before this. From his uniform, I knew he goes to our school, but I didn’t remember him orbiting around our circle. But, Lucia loved him, so I would be civil with him. With a forced smile, I extended my hand for him to shake. His pair of night-sky merely locked on me, twinkling with bizarre gaze and he did nothing, up until sweet Lucy pulled his hand out of his coat pocket and let it met mine. His touch was cold, as cold as his gaze, but I pushed myself to flash him my sweetest smile.

“Lucian,” I told him my name. “Nice to meet you, Luca.”

He gave me clipped nod. “Likewise,” said he with a husky voice. It rang another _déjà-vu_ , which I failed to accommodate once more. I shrugged it away as soon as possible. Math homework made me seeing and hearing things, I guessed.

In short, since that day, Luca became one part of our life, standing between me and my beloved sister… until she was no more.

**

That day was like any other day. I could feel something had been bothering my sister for a while, but she didn’t come to confide to me, so I pried. She knew what I was aiming and gave me rolled eyes, her way of telling me to drop it. It stung somehow. I started to wonder when we started to share so less than we were before. I guess it was around when we started high school. She blended in with her group of girls, while I and my best friend Erik joined our gang of boys. We headed to different school activities, chattered with different conversation topics, and before I realized, we had been distant. Now, I hardly knew what she was thinking only by one gaze. Our moment had gone.

“I’m fine, Lucian. Stop prying,” she said while gave me a twirl to showing off her clothes. She was wearing sleeveless burnt orange skater dress that brings out her fair hair colour and lively hazel eyes. They were even twinkling so beautifully under her perfectly arched brows and trimmed fringes. Our iris and hair colour were two things that differentiated us in instant. Mine were one shade darker than hers, made mine looked so dull and boring, in comparison with hers. “How do I look?”

 _She was perfect_ , I smiled.

“I hope you’re wearing something on top of that,” I wiggled my own brows. “I know it’s summer, but it’s barely twenty degrees outside and it’s a bit windy today.”

“Yes, _Dad_ …,” she rolled her eyes and grabbed her brown denim jacket.

“Where are you going?” _Yes_ , I realized I was prying again, but I was her brother, and I _was_ older by five minutes from her, so I was allowed for being so protective to her. “With Luca?”

Her eyes were stopped glimmering for a mere second, but it was gone before I ever had any chance to over-thinking it. She hastily gathered her stuffs and put them inside her small sling bag.

“Yeah,” she shrugged.

“Where to?”

She rolled her eyes once more. “None of your business, my dear brother. It’s a date…,” she smiled sweetly as she brushed me off.

“You’re driving?” I noticed a string of keys in her hand, which I recognized as our car keys.

The keys were clattering as she wiggled them in front of my eyes. Her thin upper lips grinned cutely, “Dad said okay.”

“I’m planning to hang out with Erik today,” I complained.

“Take the bus,” she threw me a ‘duh’ face. “Or let him drive. Erik has car.”

“Erik has _bike_ ,” I corrected. “He traded his car for that sport bike he’s been drooling on. Yeah, fine, take it. I’ll ask him to pick me up,” I fished my phone out to send a quick text to my friend.

“Bye, then, Lucian,” Lucia giggled. The next second I knew, she planted a light kiss on my cheek. I was frozen on my spot and threw a vexed gaze to her. Ever since we hit puberty, we ceased to be so touchy with each other, which limited the frequency of kissing cheeks and hugging, unless it was our birthday or when we had some special occasions.

“What was that for?” I was still bemused.

Lucia smiled so sweetly again to me. She cocked her head playfully and said, “Just my way to say I love you, Lucian.”

“Goodness, my sister is a sap,” I mocked horror and clenched my shirt, drawn a rumbling laugh from her.

“Good bye, Lucian…,” she waved.

“Bye-bye, sappy Sis!!” I gave her big wave, as she closed the door, still laughing.

It was her last good-bye.

**


	2. You and Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is so freaking hectic and leaves me with no room to do my things. I barely could write, for heaven's sake, and next week is test week T_T Anyway, I managed to write this short chapter. Happy reading.

It was a beautiful day. The air was crisp, the weather was warm, the sky was blue, and the wind was teasing you playfully. It was a perfect day to go out, the kind of day which Lucia would love to have and spent outdoor. Yet there she was, lying stiffly inside the coffin, eyes were no longer lingering to mine, as her laughing voice would never again be heard.

I clenched my teeth as I put down my flower on her coffin, listening on how my heart was crushed and shattered into pieces. I tried to hold my tears, for I was not to make my mother became into any more mess than she already was. She had been passing in and out ever since the news was broken to us. Dad’s navy golf was crushed from the impact, which had taken Lucia’s smile forever.

I shivered, but I still did my best to pull myself together. Erik was standing next to me, as a good and childhood friend he was. He noticed my pain by one look, and wrapped his arm on my shoulders. He was taller and much built than me, and I really needed an anchor to stop myself for not going after my twin sister, so I let him be. I stared blankly to the pit when they started to pour the red earth on Lucy’s coffin. Mother was passing out again.

“They took your mother to the car,” Erik informed me, as my eyes were still fixed to the pit. “Do you want to go to her?”

“Is she alone?” I didn’t follow his gaze. Erik shook his head. “Then it’s fine.” I wanted to stay. I wanted to say goodbye properly to my other half. _If_ any of that goodbye existed.

The corner of my eye caught one familiar figure. He was standing tall behind the walls of people, yet was not making any effort to move forward to see the burial more clearly. In his black suit, he looked even paler than he usually was, and his jet-black hair was even unkempt than usual. I brought myself to look, and I noticed how pain was radiating from his eyes, killing every single glint of stars those eyes usually had. He was standing tall, but I could see his shoulders were weighed down by invincible weight.

“I heard he was there?” Erik followed my gaze, which now trailed to the piece of bandage on his temple, and fresh bruises on his cheek.

I nodded lightly. “He saw everything and tried to reach…,” I couldn’t pull myself to finish the sentence. I scrunched my face and finally retreated. “I’m sorry…”

I ran and ran. The cemetery was huge and open. I ran for someplace that able to offer me a shade, where I could hold myself into a ball and drained my tears without even had to talk to anyone. I did not know how long I let myself strayed. The next thing I realized, I was sitting at the bus stop at a remote corner. I sighed and leaned my head to the cold glass. The bus came and opened its door for me, before it shut again from my zero response. I stared it drove away blankly, left me all alone for once more.

_I’m all alone now_ , I told myself. _All alone_ …

A pair of leather shoes was stopping their steps in front of me. They were of size ten, and they looked so familiar by now, that I didn’t need to tilt my head to see the owner. Luca resumed his pace, only to sit next to me. He was sitting stiffly, eyes were looking across the street, and both of his hands were stuffed inside his coat. I was simply ignoring him, couldn’t bear to move my tongue to say anything, until his hand suddenly offered me a tiny velvet box.

“Lucia wanted you to have it,” he said with his husky voice.

I frowned, but straightened my body from the mention of the name. When I touched the soft surface, my hand was shivering. After made sure I had a hold on it, Luca withdrew his hand and stuffed it back into his coat pocket.

“We went to get that for your birthday…,” his voice grew even huskier and his eyes shot more pain. I knew what was reserved behind that unfinished sentence. _Lucia was dead when she was out for buying me a present._

“H-how…?” I pulled myself to ask. I heard about it from the officers, but I wanted to know from Luca himself. He was _there_ , he was with my sister when it happened.

Luca needed time before he could replay the nightmare. “S-she stopped at the intersection and asked to check if one of the tires flatted. So I did. I was off the car and checked. The traffic was quiet that time, but suddenly…,” he took a heavy intake of breath, “The truck came out of nowhere and crashed onto the car. I was falling aside from the impact, but Lucia…”

He snapped his head to escape my gaze, but I saw his shoulders were trembling. He was trying to blink his tears away.

“I’m sorry…,” I whispered.

He shook his head. “You lost a sister…”

“And you a girlfriend…,” I retorted.

“…she understood me…”

_She did?_ I smiled bitterly. _Yeah_ , Lucia was like that. She was kind and empathetic to others, made it so hard for not liking her.

I opened the box slowly, and my tears were flooding out when I saw it was a matching pendants, oval shape, made of silver, and it had our names, birth date and caricature face of us on it.

It was three days before our birthday…

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This two will be riding emotional roller coaster for sure ^^ Please leave me some feedback. Many thanks... ^0^/


	3. She and Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo taking my time to update. This year is insanely hectic. I know it's senior year, but I never thought it'll be that hectic -_-;; I can only write in weekends these days, since I'm very busy during weekdays. Last year I could still write in weekdays, but now... eh... 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this chapter too.

When I thought seeing Lucia’s coffin buried six feet under was the hardest thing, I could have never been so wrong. Once I stepped into her abandoned room, I was crushed. It was still the way she left it, as if she was never leave. Her bed was made, with cover and pillows that were still radiating her fragrance; her PJs were folded neatly on the edge of her bed, waiting for her to return home and slip into it; her half-read book was sitting idly on the nightstand, ready for her to flip its page open and finish the story. The walls were still echoing her voice and laughter, but she was there no more.

“What should we do with her room?” Dad approached me silently, made me jolt for a bit.

I stared at him, before I shook my head. The empty box was forgotten next to my feet. “Mom asked me to clean her room, but I-… I don’t think I can, Dad…”

Dad’s face turned stern. He nodded. “I think we shan’t rush anything. Don’t push yourself either, Lucian. I’ll talk to your Mom, don’t you worry,” he herded me out of the room and swiftly locked it up. He put the key in my hand. His lips stretched into thin lines. “I don’t think your mother will come upstairs for the time being, so you keep that key and do the cleaning once you’re ready. It would be harder for you, Lucian, being upstairs, alone. Do you want to move to my atelier instead? I can move my stuffs up here in exchange.”

Dad was a painter and illustrator, and I knew how he needed the perfect lighting in his atelier, so I refused. I pulled myself to let out a decent smile.

“I’ll be fine, don’t you worry, Dad. I like it here, and I wanted to be close with any memory of hers. I think that’s how I’ll do my way of grieving.”

Dad nodded and turned away after gave me a pat on shoulder. He was a tall man with broad shoulders, but just like Luca, his once strong and proud shoulders were now lumped with heavy loss.

That night, I was sleepless.

**

I forgot what time I finally drifted to sleep. When I woke up, I found myself went to Lucia’s bedroom and was ready to knock her door to wake her up when realization hit me. My knuckles were stopped mid way, and I was standing limbless, staring blankly to the door.

_She was there no more…_

I sighed and went back to my room to get ready alone. I took a shower in effort to get rid of the moody feeling I had. Then, I wore my uniforms. I didn’t care to comb my hair and only carded it with my fingers to tame it a little bit. Lucia always made a fuss about my hair, insisted that I should pay more attention on how I look.

“ _You are_ that _good looking, Lucian! A lot of girls like you. Why can’t you dressing up a bit?_ ” was her favourite ranting, and I would seize any chance to flee from it.

I sighed. Now, I would never hear such scolding anymore. Now, there would be no one care about how I look anymore. No one would noisily push me to dates and dressing up. There was only Lucia to do that, and now, she was there no more.

I shook my head and slapped my cheeks. I needed to be strong! I took another look at the mirror and gazed at the split image of Lucia there. I sighed and dashed downstairs before I returned to the sea of memory once more. I was about to take my breakfast when I saw mom was sitting on the windows cushion with no expression on her face. She was a cheerful and warm woman, but now she was like a broken doll. She was still in her sleeping kimono, and her dark-blonde hair fell unkempt on her shoulders. Her whiskey-coloured eyes were gazing far away, as if they were trying to fly to the place where Lucia was at the moment.

“Hey, Kiddo,” Dad greeted me. “Breakfast?”

I shook my head. “I’ll grab it on the way to school,” I said and stormed toward the door. I couldn’t handle that intense atmosphere so early in the morning.

My steps were stopped when I caught a familiar figure was leaning on our fence.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

He tilted his head and looked at me with his deep gaze. His wavy dark locks fallen to his cheek when he ducked his head back.

“Habit is scary,” he opened his mouth. His voice was low and husky as usual, loud enough only for me to hear. “I walked to school only to find myself came here…”

Ever since they got together, Luca always picked Lucia up, and they walked together to school every day. Sometimes, I tagged along. I never thought that after Lucia had gone, Luca would still coming like clockwork. I guessed it was like what he said. _Habit dies hard_.

“Wanna walk with me?” I cracked him a thin smile. He didn’t answer, but hastily synchronized his steps with mine.

“You’re earlier today,” he said after moments of silent.

“I’m skipping breakfast,” I told him. “I couldn’t really sit together and eat with them in that kind of atmosphere. My mom is a mess…”

“She took it hardest…”

“Don’t we all?” I retorted. I fixed him stern glance, was that close from snapping. Lucia might be her daughter, but she was my twins! We shared everything ever since we were mere cells. We shared our existence ever since we were still mere fetus! Losing Lucia was hard, but my mother made it harder by pushing us away. She didn’t even let us comfort her.

I didn’t realize my tears had storming down my cheeks as I was ranting. When I did realize, I found myself in Luca’s embrace. He pulled me to his arms, and let me found comfort from the sound of his heartbeats. I noticed how big and warm his hands were when they caressing my head and hugged my back tightly. His warm breath tickled my ears, but I could have care less.

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd appreciate your comments and kudos~ Thanks for reading ^^


	4. You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luca and Lucian skipped class and went to the park together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel this chapter is a bit melancholy, but I enjoyed writing it, nonetheless ^^

“I don’t know if I want to go to class…,” I murmured, as we almost arrived at the school gate. Luca paused and whipped his head to me, while I stood at my place with my head hanged low.

He said nothing in reply, so I turned my heels and pacing back toward where we came before. I swung my feet fast, but I reduced my speed when I realized that Luca was still at my side.

“You don’t have to skip the class together with me,” I told him.

“But I want to,” he said solemnly. “I don’t feel going to class yet, either.”

I sighed. “We are wearing our uniform. It’ll be eye-catching. Someone will report us to school,” I leaned to the nearest wall, contemplating my reckless action. _Maybe we should just head back…,_ I thought, but it was cut off when I felt a soft material descended on my lap. It was a navy-blue printed T-shirt. Luca’s.

When I raised my head to see him, Luca had taken off his uniform and wearing a maroon T-shirt. 

“Do you always bring two T-shirts?” I asked him incredulously.

Luca shrugged. “I always wear T-shirts as undershirt because I often playing basketball with other boys during break, and you know we’re not allowed to play games in our uniform shirt. So I always bring change every day.”

I chuckled as I walked toward a deserted alley. “Whatever, Man. Thanks…”

I put down my backpack and started to peel off my uniform jacket and shirt. I knew that Luca was following me into the alley, but I was indifferent at first. I unbuttoned my shirt without thinking, but my breath hitched when I realized how dark Luca’s eyes were as he watching me changing. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and staring at me unabashedly. I knew he might doesn’t mean anything, since we were both guys, and I often changing clothes together with Erik, but there was this itch at the back of my head that I failed to shake off. The feeling was slightly different, and I felt a sense of déjà-vu, as if it happened before. Someone in the past was watching me stripping off my clothes intensely; eyes were deep and filled with passion, as if he wanted to devour me in instance. I should’ve felt uncomfortable. I did, in an extent, but there was this excitement too. I realized that I enjoyed the attention.

I shook my head. What was I thinking? Luca was Lucia’s, and we both were grieving. There was no way he had any altered intention to me, no matter how much resemblance I have with Lucia. I paused, with his T-shirt half slipped on my arms. I cast my eyes to him, challenging them slightly. His eyes were still as dark as before, locked into my own. I gulped.

“You’ll catch cold if you don’t wear it faster,” his husky voice was breaking the silent. He took his gaze away. I hastily put on the T-shirt.

Luca was taller and more built than me, so the T-shirt was loose on me. I wore my parka back on, but folded my uniform neatly into my bag.

“What do you want to do now?” I asked him.

“You said you haven’t got your breakfast, so shall we grab something at Subway and find someplace to eat?”

I followed him to the said direction and browsing for the menu, before placing my order. Now, with two hot sandwiches in our hand, we were staring at each other again, outside the shop, wondering where we should go next.

“So?” I raised my eyebrow. “Where do you want to eat?”

He shrugged.

“Regent’s Park?” I stared at the end of the road, where the park entrance was. We were still relatively close with our school complex, but the park had many secluded places where we could sit down without worry being caught by familiar eyes.

Luca nodded and let me opened our path. We walked into the park without talking and I navigated us toward the boating lake. I picked one of the benches under the shades of a big tree. It was quite remote and less visitors roaming there. I didn’t want to get caught, so that bench was perfect.

“You come here often?” Luca suddenly opened his mouth.

“Sometimes… You?”

He shook his head. I chuckled.

“Yeah, I bet Lucia dragged you to Oxford Street for your dates instead. She loved crowds…”

“And shopping…”

I laughed, almost chocked on my sandwich. “Yeah, and shopping…,” I agreed.

“But I love places like this more, actually,” he added, gazing toward the glimmering lake surface.

I trailed on his gaze and couldn’t be more agree. The scenery was serene and breathtaking. I always liked nature and antique buildings, in contrast with Lucia. Lucia loved modernity and people, whilst I loved seclusion and antiquities.

“I feel like drawing,” Luca hummed.

I arched my eyebrows. “You like drawing?” I thought I saw shed of pink on his ear, but he dismissed it soon. He hastily nodded.

“I like photography too.”

“Really?” _That’s cool_ , I guess. Luca had this deep gaze and he felt like an old soul, so those hobbies of his matched him perfectly. I could picture him sitting in front of an easel and a canvas, or behind a camera.

“Wanna be my model?” He offered, while he was rummaging his backpack. Suddenly, he had a camera in his hand.

“You’re serious…,” I stared at him incredulously.

“Don’t wanna?” Luca didn’t wait for my response and snapped a picture of me.

“Hey! I never said yes!!” I protested.

“You look great,” he said, and showing me the picture he just took. Well, he wasn’t lying. For someone whose picture was being taken in surprise, I looked great on it. My eyes stared softly and my dirty-blonde hair blended well with the colour of autumn leaves in the background. I did look surprised, but it wasn’t exaggerated.

“You often took Lucia’s pictures too?”

Luca’s face turned dark, much to hamper me with guilt. “Sorry,” I whispered.

He shook his head and stood up. With quick movements, he took more frames of the scenery in front of us. When he returned to sit next to me, he showed the pictures.

“What do you think?”

I was never into photography before, but I had to admit that Luca got talent. The serenity of the scenery was captured mesmerizingly by him. The lake was tranquil, the breeze was soothing through the elegant dance of the trees, and the swans were basking under the sunlight.

“They are beautiful,” I praised him sincerely. The corner of his lips tugged up slightly and I could see shred of reds on tip of his ear. I almost coo on it. I would’ve never guess that the ice-cold Luca had this endearing side of him.

My phone was suddenly buzzing and almost made me jolt surprised. I took it out and found a text sent by Erik. He was asking my whereabouts.

“Erik?” Luca peeked.

“Yeah, he’s asking where I am. Better to reply and tell him first, before he freaked out and start to contact my dad.”

I typed in my answer swiftly. That was when I heard Luca mumbled something like, “You two are so close…”

“Pardon?”

He shook his head again. “Nothing…”

He went more quite afterward.

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and kudos are highly appreciated. I'm always anxious about my original work^^ Thank for reading, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, please tell me what you think ^^


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